While in a meeting the other day I heard what I've come to
believe is one of the dumbest catch phrases used in the workplace. "As usual,
our deadline is yesterday for this,
so we need to get started ASAP!" (Naturally, it was followed with a chuckle
meant to convey conspiratorial sympathy with the newly deadline-afflicted.)
Listen up, people. This joke is more hackneyed than "take my
wife, please!" Unless you have a flux capacitor in your basement and have
successfully interrupted the space-time continuum, your deadline MUST be in the
future. And, if you want any kind of credibility with your peers you will
suggest a deadline that is more than two days in the future.
If you keep using this weary tactic, your coworkers will
Perhaps you weren't aware until now that your weak attempt
at humor would strike such a dissonant chord. We'll spot you a few until you rid
yourself of this habit. In the meantime, you may find it helpful to use one or
more of these suggested phrases.
One last thing-if you have
perfected time travel, can you please inform the 13-year-old me that wearing
pink satin and a glam-rock hairdo on class picture day will set me up for major
ridicule at high school reunions? Many thanks.
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