Understanding Your Role as a Role Model
By Tracy Faleide

All you parents out there know how terrifying it is to hear your adorable children mimicking adult words and gestures that they most likely learned from you. Your employees aren’t likely to copy you verbatim (unless they’re poking fun at you at Happy Hour). You might be surprised, though, to learn how much your behaviors influence theirs.

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Why Won’t Anybody Step Up?
Do you ever get frustrated because your employees seem hesitant to take on new challenges? Either you hired a bunch of risk-averse people (which is an unlikely thing for an entrepreneur like you to do) or you’re giving signals that taking risks is dangerous. Think back. How do you typically react when new initiatives don’t pan out? If the failed new initiative leader lost face in any way, if the mistake became the brunt of water cooler jokes, or if the whole thing got swept under the rug, hesitancy to step up is your employees’ natural defense.

Role Model Remedy:
Add a “lessons learned” topic to your staff meetings. Reward risk-taking formally in your recognition programs and informally any time you’re in front of your teams. Openly admit when things don’t go well, even if you’re the one who led the charge.

Do I Have to do Everything Around Here?
Do you ever feel like you’re the only one who gets things done right? You might be a “fixer” who comes in behind your employees and changes their work so it’s just like you would have done. A friend of mine has a boss who regularly comes in behind her and re-arranges the crackers she sets out for pre-school snack time. Pre-school. Seriously. This woman also comes in every morning after her husband makes the bed and does it over so it’s just right. Seems outrageous, doesn’t it? Guess what…entrepreneurs who aren’t closet control freaks are hard to find. You either need to figure out how to change this behavior or how to survive without sleep. If you don’t change, you really will have to do everything yourself.

Role Model Remedy:
Determine the smallest number you possibly can of non-negotiable standards everyone must follow, and learn how to let go of everything else. Will it matter to your customers if the cocktail napkins at your last client event were simply stacked, not spiraled? No. Will you lose sales because one of the slides in a presentation had the Times New Roman font instead of Arial? No. Letting go isn’t easy. Consider getting help from a trusted advisor or coach. Your team will thank you. Your family members will thank you. And you’ll get a lot more sleep!

Why the Long Face?
Is bad news all you ever hear? Do you have to beg your staff to think of something positive to share during meetings? Your favorite character in the Hundred Acre Wood is probably Eyeore. You may be reacting negatively more than you realize. Negativity wears many masks, not just a scowling one. Do you typically look for the positive aspects of a new idea? Or are you more likely to point out the potential pitfalls first? I’m a persistent optimist—the one who keeps saying “I see blue sky” through the pouring rain. In negative environments, though, even I would give in to the doom-speak tendency to avoid feeling foolish when my ideas were shot down again and again.

Role Model Remedy:
First off, keep quiet. It’s likely you jump in midstream with reasons why somebody’s new idea won’t work. Stop. Listen. The first thing you say should be “thanks for the idea.” The second thing you say should be something positive, like how the idea could drive more business or increase customer satisfaction. Instead of rattling off a litany of reasons something will fail, try initiating a healthy dialogue about how to ensure the success of the potential idea.

Why Can’t Everyone Just Get Along?
Do you sometimes feel like a referee because you are constantly asked to solve disagreements between team members? Is your office grapevine full of poison fruit? People get suspicious and display remarkably childish behavior when they feel things aren’t fair. Do the new opportunities always go to the same people? Do a handful of people seem to know more about what’s going on than everyone else? If these situations exist or if people think they exist, you may inadvertently be playing favorites.

Role Model Remedy:
Be sure you’re consistent in the way you share information. If something important happened with a strategic alliance partner, for example, avoid sharing the information in a piecemeal fashion. Instead, share the news with everyone on your staff at the same time. Be aware of how much one-on-one time you spend with your managers. It’s natural for you to jive personally with some more than others. That’s okay, as long as you don’t favor your favorites.

Why Can’t You Make Up Your Mind?
Is there a line outside your office of people asking you to make the call on everything from candy dish contents to product development priorities? You might have accidentally trained your staff to bring every decision to you. For example, if your input given late-in-the-game has caused mad scrambles to change everything, your staff will be hesitant to stick their necks out.

Role Model Remedy:
First re-read the “Do I have to do everything around here?” section above. Next, adjust how and when you provide input on strategic decisions. Oftentimes, people simply don’t know they’re empowered to make most decisions on their own. Define the scope of decisions you need to weigh in on. The more important the decision, the earlier and more frequent your involvement should be.

As much as you’d like to believe otherwise, your attitudes and behaviors set much of the tone for your organization. Simply being more aware of the example you’re setting is a good first step. Remember, changing long-standing habits takes time and diligence. If you get discouraged or overwhelmed, try replacing a bad habit with a new, good one, like opening your meetings with customer feedback. Or, imagine how your words would sound coming from someone else. You don’t want your four-year-old going on a rant about incompetence. Your 40-year-old sales manager doesn’t need to hear it either.

About the Author

Tracy Faleide has twenty years of experience in communications, project and team management, strategy development and planning process, team-building, performance and career coaching and results-based execution. She is a novelist, freelance writer, professional coach and business consultant. Common threads across these focus areas include finding and telling stories of courage through transition, helping establish confidence of purpose and seeing things differently. Prior to going out on her own, she held several team and strategy leadership roles at Great Plains Software and Microsoft. In her most recent positions at Microsoft, she was responsible for Business Solutions' strategy development and planning processes and for setting and delivering on worldwide customer and partner experience and satisfaction strategies. Tracy has a B.S. degree in Mass Communications and Public Relations from Minnesota State University Moorhead. She and her husband, Dan, live in and lovingly renovate two old homes-one a 1907 four-square in Fargo, North Dakota; and the other a cottage on Lake Lizzie near Pelican Rapids, Minnesota.